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The Honeymoon period is over...

Family, Travelemily kisa7 Comments

This photo was taken last March when my class from Mimar Sinan went to a village named Zeytinburnu next to Muldanya, about an hour ferry ride from Istanbul.

When I write "the honey moon period is over" I don't mean with my new husband who I love more everyday, I mean with my host country of Turkey.

Good old Wikipedia describe the Honeymoon period as this:

The honeymoon period is the phase early in a long-term relationship characterized by greater than typical joy and lesser than typical friction. This is also true early on in marriage - spouses seem to be more forgiving and loving than they would be later on in the relationship.

I have been coming to Turkey on and off for two years this month and initially it was rose-colored glasses the whole time, I was more forgiving about the annoyances I found and still very in love with this new exotic land I had fallen for. I would turn a blind eye, or turn on my third eye actually so I wouldn't loose a limb to the crazy-ass, non-seat belt wearing free-for-all rule less maniacs of drivers who throw their trash out the windows without a second thought, to the lack of amenities such as constant natural gas to the house which leads to warmth in every room and hot water from every faucet;the kitchen, the bathroom, the bathroom faucet, the shower etc.(my husband reminds me that I come from a "rich country" often when I am frustrated and Turkey is still developing), to up to 20 hours it takes me by plane to go see my family, to the serious problem of feral dogs and cats that roam the streets begging for food and cycle of abuse and fear it leads to between humans and animals, to the garbage that piles up out side dumpsters, if there are even dumpsters at all, so the cats and dogs scrounge for food from it and tear open the bags scattering the trash all over the place, the potholes that I can't figure out why the city won't fix and the irritation I feel every time we hit one hard, to it taking three days for my clothes to dry because there aren't any clothes dryers, that it isn't easy to learn Turkish and I better keep trying hard because...

the reality has hit me hard that I am going to be living here for while and that I need to make a life of my own here. Stop treating it as if I am on vacation and that I am going back to my "real", "safe" life in America anytime soon(although I swear to you I will when the time is right). Make my life my own here with my husband but not just wait around for my husband and his life. We just found out some blessed news that we are expecting a little one and with that news I think your perspective on life changes. I have never been one to over think the future(good or bad as that may be) but with one on the way I wonder what kind of life we will give it? Where to go to school...I guess it needs to get here first...

inşallah sağlıklı= If it is god's will, healthy!!!!!

That is my little rant for the week and releasing it to get over it. Thanks to my mother, sisters and friends for guidance emails. Get past the lust of the honeymoon period and try to get into living here. There is still a new language to conquer and lots to explore in "The ohhh sweet Turkey." Also friends and family don't forget our door is always open for visitors!

Deep breathes(right mom?)