Home sweet home!
Home sweet where?
Whenever I go back to the States I have several conversation of this nature...
"You live where?"
"Wow, that is far..."
"Wow, how is that?"
(Note:this response varies with different voice fluctuations insinuating
A: positive one like 'oh cool you live in another country'
B: a negative like 'where the heck is that and why would you ever flipping go there?'
C: a scared one like 'aren't they different over there')
Also my response lately is simply, "good just far...with a little sigh at the end...that I try to hide."
Every time I go back to the States it still does feel like home to go back to my childhood house. I feel on one hand fortunate to have had such stability through my life and another like hey maybe there is something wrong with this and maybe that is why I just can't feel happy in this country of Turkey lately? HOME SWEET TURKEY???
But I felt like I had a home outside of my childhood one when I lived in San Diego. I loved our little dove street nest although knowing it wasn't forever we nurtured it; we cooked for each other and people would come in and out eating my food, drinking wine and laughing, lots of laughing and fabulous conversations that friends have with one and other(I miss you people:).
But by the time I had left that house I was ready to;over so.cal. Ready to go forth with all the love and growing I had done during those fabulously fun twenties in southern California to go "see the world".
That will be 4 yrs ago in February...wow!
I came to Eskisehir and have been bouncing from house to city to house to country to house to city to country to house to state to house to house to city to country to language to culture to customs to house to home? where is the HOME though? etc etc ever since (yeah makes you a little dizzy huh? me too!)
We might be moving again or maybe not and this news makes me tired and sad. Just continues this unsettled feeling.
Always in the back of my head though that when I settle down it will be in MN.
I believe most of this urgency stems from having a child and loosing my father, two biggest events in my life within 9 days of each other.
Lately have been blinded by my longing to be in MN...
must sleep now...
"Adopt the pace of nature; her secret is patience" -Ralph Waldo Emerson
Patient and persistent like the my father's National Geographics